Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize