Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
