Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
