Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
