Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
