pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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