guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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