i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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