smell my finger.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
