Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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