WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
