I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
