Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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