3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
