So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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