Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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