he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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