so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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