He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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