Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
