You made me cry and you don't even care
She said her name was "party"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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