Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
