We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
