don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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