The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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