How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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