the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This is my gift to your gina
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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