dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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