thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
