So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My penis needs a shock collar
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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