I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
