Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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