I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She announced her abortion via fbk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
