She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
