just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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