How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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