took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
