i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
