You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
