shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
