Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
