a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
