I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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