Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
