well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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