Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
