it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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