Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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