sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
