There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
