her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize