I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
