I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
