im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
