We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
